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TOP TEN SUPER-NAFF CAR AND CAR-RELATED COMMERCIALS

These gems – and so many others – may be found on the utterly addictive History of Advertising Trust website. Enjoy!  

Vauxhall Victor FB Estate – Omo Washing Powder 1962

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/8f44a346-3064-4da5-bdb6-507b9650fa55

Beware, people of Leicester – your city is about to be infiltrated by an army of Victor Estates, all promoting the “Blue Star Omo”, as recommended by none other Alan “Fluff” Freeman. Not ‘Arf!

Danish Foods – Win a Morris Mini 1964

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/0bbc0809-9e3d-40f9-8d31-710cfe74c1e8

Try not to be alarmed if you see a man who sounds like a BBC Announcer but who has taken to wearing horns in his hat stood outside your local Co-Op. It is all part of a promotion to sell bacon and to allow you the chance to win a new Mini.

MG 1100 – Stork Margarine 1965

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/af9f419f-c4a7-439d-90e4-0b5e9e373343

Meanwhile, a fleet of Octagon-badged ADO16s are touring Scotland, offering the chance to win £3 in grocery vouchers! In the Midlands the “Stork Girls” favour Triumph Heralds - http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/26728856-9583-416d-ab27-03f5e142ec27 -  although this does not affect your chances of gaining 60 shillings worth of shopping,

Vauxhall Viva HB 1966

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/124ece62-34cb-407d-aadb-271ffecb944b

Patrick Allen was not just a character actor of the first rank, he was the voice over artiste’s voice-over artiste, whether he was narrating a public information film or announcing The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer. However, this is a magnificent example of the great man going over the top as he constantly utters the phrase ‘jet smooth’ and ‘whisper quiet’ as a groovy young couple experience ‘a new day in one-litre motoring!’.

 

Austin Maxi – The Great Mars Rally 1969

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/1f94ca86-4d63-4fdd-a880-b0ae143a0ce0

Imagine sitting in the ABC Southampton and awaiting the main feature of Carry On Camping, only to be confronted with this thrilling promotion. There is the Good Word tune that would become famous as the theme tune to Nationwide, the RP voiceover that makes you realise that ‘the 1960s’ often did not begin until 1971 – and a chance to win one of 25 new Austin Maxis. My favourite moment is when “dad” stares in wonder at the fascia, apparently bedazzled by the fresh air vents. N.B. Note the subtle product placement of an Austin 3-Litre in the background.

Chrysler Alpine/Horizon 1979

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/27f5904b-2f2a-4c27-a546-34dc944b48f4

Two COPTY winners in one line-up is indeed a considerable achievement, so it is a pity that this commercial a) features a Horizon apparently being thrown off a train and b) the announcer seemingly raving into his microphone

Morris Ital 1980

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/95a2b926-4d3b-4846-8c47-fb94cce28b18

I make no bones about including this gem once more as it is a masterpiece of the small screen. Who would not immediately rush to their local British Leyland showroom on witnessing the Morris that ‘accelerates from 0-60 as fast as a BMW 316’?

MG Metro 1300 1982

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/15a15472-f61c-4f4b-9f5f-c17babef5b47

Nice car – shame about the “Duran Duran Pop Video” style commercial.

Austin Rover 1982

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/a31bf1e6-a944-46a4-86ba-2340e4e0a5e1

It is indeed good to be acquainted with the Austin-Rover line-up in 1982, especially the Metro Vanden Plas and the facelifted SD1. But does Patrick Mower really have to shout all the time?

Toyota 1982

http://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/c637bce6-4fcd-4101-809e-268d4f5741ff

An advert that is the very stuff of nightmares; the Toyota range “singing” (via their stop-motion open and closing bonnets) ‘I got rear wash” and “I got tint glass’ to the strains of I Got Rhythm. Please make it stop. Please…

 

 

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