LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION?

Many readers are probably familiar with this sensation; you are watching a film set in World War 2 only to notice a 1962 Citroën 2CV in a street scene or a Routemaster bus making a surprise appearance in ‘1946’. The list can be endless, from a 1973 Austin Maxi sporting a very implausible ‘X’ registration suffix to a RHD Slough built Traction Avant in a ‘France’ that bears a remarkable similarity to Surrey. Not to mention vehicles with flashing indicators in the 1930s.

And you think to yourself, “surely various film and TV companies need a classic car such as mine? Furthermore, riches shall surely be mine, plus vast amounts of fame via association with various stars”. However, this writer has worked as a film extra, and so he has a small insight into life on location. Besides, I would be quite worried if my favourite actors – Peter Sellers, Hattie Jacques, Tony Hancock and Sidney James - did materialise in my Wolseley. For obvious reasons.

My own experience when playing a bailiff on a long-running ITV drama was a) it was nothing like Extras b) the sheer professionalism of everyone involved, and c) the sheer amount of waiting. From memory, we were used on an average of one hour out of eight, which suited us fine. As ‘Background Artistes’ we were well paid, well fed and could read novels while lying on the grounds of a stately home.

And it was due to a vehicular mishap that the bailiffs gained several additional days of work. If I recall correctly, one police van (a Freight Rover; the shoot was in the late 1990s) broke down and had to be quickly replaced. Unfortunately, the back-up was a completely different marque and model and did not resemble the original van at all, even in the long shots. As a result, several extras had to be recalled for the sake of continuity.

So, I am not expecting glamour or excitement if my 6/99 does appear on the screen; merely early starts, the cold if it is a winter shoot, and plenty of waiting. The fascination is to see how the art of the writers, the director, the cast, the editor, the sound recordist and countless others make your classic a part of the drama.

Besides, having the Wolseley feature in a programme has to be more straightforward than my most offbeat acting role - an Italian peasant in a Brazilian soap opera. But that is another story…